Touching on my Girl
by SickleStar
Summary: A story of James and Lily's end of the sixth year/seventh year at Hogwarts. Please review
1. Prefect Rounds

Jily

**Lily's P.O.V**

"Oh come on, Evans. Just admit it, you know you're going to miss me." James said to me.

I rolled my eyes and pulled my trunk onto the Express.

"Oh of course, I'll miss you." I said making my way down the narrow hallway, "Not."

"That was low." he said following close behind me.

"Honestly, Potter, I couldn't care less if that was low."

I slid open a door that contained: Sirius, Remus, Alice, Marlene and Peter. Myself and James entered.

"Where have you two been?" Sirius asked mischievously.

"Not where you think we've been, Sirius!" I snapped back.

"Okay okay, just joking." he said.

James gestured him to move his feet off the seat. Reluctantly, Sirius sat up. James sat beside him and chucked his feet onto my lap.

"Get off, James." I said.

"Better do what she says." Remus implied.

His eyes flickered over at me. I raised my eyebrow and smirked. He moved his feet and sighed. I knew he would.

I looked at my watch. It was twelve thirty.

"Up you get, James." I said to the person lying asleep on the floor, "James!"

I gave him a nudge with my feet. He didn't wake.

"Aguamenti." I whispered pointing my wand at his face.

Water erupted from the tip and drenched James. He shot up, panting.

"What the-?" James looked up at me, "What the hell was that for?"

"Well you wouldn't get up!" I folded my arms, "Lets go, we have patrol for half an hour."

"Could you at least move so I can get up?" he asked wiping away excess water.

I sighed.

I grabbed his hands and pulled him up. There we were, standing in front of each, our eyes locked. I'm happy that we were the only ones awake. Or so I thought.

"Lets go." I said looking away pulling my hands away.

We left the old compartment and begun to patrol the corridors.

"So who do you reckon will get Head Boy and Girl, next year?" James asked.

"Dunno." I shrugged, "Probably Remus. He definitely deserves it."

"You do to, I reckon it'll be you-" James replied.

"Oi!" I yelled out to two third year boys fighting, "Cut it out!"

I would've threatened to give them detentions, but I didn't. Partly because they would've forgotten over the holidays, and I didn't have the authority. They didn't stop. James cut in between them, he yelled at one then the other. They scrambled off and James returned.

"That's how you teach them." he said wiping his hands.

"No, that's how you brutalise them." I laughed.

We stopped outside a window and stood there. The green fields flew by as the train went passed. I was admiring the sun, then realised that James was staring at me.

"What?" I laughed.

"Nothing." he smiled, "You have a bit of hair-"

James reached forward and moved the bit of my bangs from my face. I shuddered at his touch. His ratherly, tender and warm hands.

"You can go back now, if you want." I said trying to move my thoughts away, "I'll finish it off."

"No it's okay. You go back, and I'll stay. Besides there's only five minutes left." he said.

"Thanks." I smiled.

James watched me as I headed back to our compartment. Opening up the door I saw that there was only, Marlene and Sirius left in there.

"Where did the rest of them go?" I asked taking a seat on the vacant floor.

"Food cart." Marlene said.

"Uh huh." I snatched up my book.

"Where's, James?" Sirius asked.

"Doing the rest of the round. He told me he could finish it." I smiled.

They both smiled.

James, Remus, Peter and Alice all returned to the compartment fifteen minutes later. Their arms full with food. They threw it all on the floor. I scooted over so I didn't sit on anything.

"Where did you go off to, James?" I asked concerned slightly, "You only had a couple of minutes left."

"Went to help these guys with the food." he said pulling up a Chocolate Frog and throwing at me, "Why so curious, Evans?"

"No reason."

I pulled the book right up to my face so I could hide my blush, but I was pretty sure James saw it, he didn't comment though. I then wrenched open the Chocolate Frog. It bounced around the room. I didn't bother to do the spell, they were usually boring ones anyway. On the other side of the card was a photo of 'Albus Dumbledore'. I had gotten him more than twenty times. Come to think of it. I don't even know whether I'd gotten anyone else before.

"Wow we're nearly there!" Marlene said peering out the window.

Sirius sat next to her and looked as well. By this time I had moved to previous seats. The floor, next to James, Remus's lap, the floor again, on Marlene's feet and against the door. And it took three walks about the train just to get the feelings back in my legs. Afternoon sky had settled in and the train begun to slow down. We had now all changed back into our muggle clothes and got our trunks ready to get off. The station neared. It came to an abrupt halt. I fell backwards and landed into James.

"Sorry." I said.

"It's okay." he replied pushing open the door.

We all rushed for the exit trying to get off without being ran over.

The seven of us walked onto the platform. I had to leave quickly so they all decided to say goodbye to me first.

"Bye, Lils." Remus said.

"I'll see you soon, Moony." I hugged him tightly, "Owl me over the holidays, won't you?"

He nodded as I pulled away.

"Bye Marlene. Alice." I said to both of the girls and hugged them.

"Oh, Peter." I smiled and planted a kiss on his cheek.

Sirius looked at me.

"Come here you!" I ruffled his hair, and he pulled me into a hug, "Don't get up to any mischief."

"Oh you know me, Lily." he laughed.

Finally, I turned to James. They all looked about and decided to leave me and James alone. I smiled up at him.

"Now you." I tugged onto his jacket zipping it up, "Don't go and do anything stupid."

"Can't promise that." James pulled me into a hug, "You'll message me, yes?"

I couldn't reply. Not when I had the feeling of his strong, muscular arms wrapped around my waist. My head burrowed into his broad chest. And my arms squeezing him tightly. He kissed me forehead.

"Of course." I finally said, "But before you leave. I have someone I want you to meet."

"Who?"

"Just someone."

I pulled James along the platform and behind a pillar. There stood a boy with blonde hair, brown eyes, and a little smaller than James.

"James I thought you'd like to meet my boyfriend, Jessie." I smiled grabbing onto Jessie's hand.

"Boyfriend?" James blurted out, "Since when?"

"Well, we've been going out for a year now. I hadn't told anyone yet, and thought I'd tell you first."

I looked from Jessie, then back to James. He was gone.


	2. Letters and Situations

Jily

**Lily's P.O.V**

August 15th.

_James,_

_I haven't heard from you yet. So I thought I'd write to you. Are you okay? How has your holidays been? Mine have been alright. I caught up with Marlene a couple of days ago. We had a blast. Remus has been messaging me lately, he told me that you've been down ever since sixth year finished. What's wrong? Maybe I could help._

_Hope to hear from you soon,_

_Lily._

I enclosed the letter and tied it to a piece of string. My owl flew over and stuck out her leg. I attached the letter and let her soar out of the window.

Days went by and James hadn't replied, I sort of begun to get worried. Not majorly though, he was probably just caught up with the boys and things. Although Remus doesn't usually say anything when I message him. I decided to send him another letter.

_Augsut 28th_

_James,_

_You didn't reply. What's going on? Are you alright? Have you been with the boys? How is your summer? Going well, or terrible? I've been shut up in my room since two days ago. Petunia has well- I don't want to talk about it. Please do reply. Sorry can't talk for long._

_Hoping you're well,_

_Lily._

I got my owl to send the letter. Maybe the first time James didn't get my letter or something? Then again, he probably would've sent to me by now if there wasn't anything wrong. I dozed off into a long slumber. It was four in the afternoon when I woke. But luckily for me, I saw a piece of rolled parchment lying on my desk. Excited, I opened it up.

_Lily,_

_I haven't heard all that much from, James. Sirius said he hadn't either. I'm beginning to worry. He hasn't sent me any messages since the start of the break. I hope he's alright. I tried to ring them the muggle way a couple of days ago. His parents says his sick. I think otherwise. If you get this message, reply to it and I'll tell you my suspicions. _

_Missing you,_

_Remus._

It wasn't what I had suspected. It made me quite upset when I found out that James hadn't been heard from to the boys. There was always Peter, but I highly doubt it. I pulled out another piece of paper and scribbled down:

_Remus,_

_Thanks for the update. He hasn't been messaging me either. I sent him a letter a few hours ago, no reply. Tell me what you think. I have a small thought on it, but I'd rather not say._

_I hope you are having fun, missing you too,_

_Lily._

Enclosing the letter once more, I sent it out with my owl. I rubbed my eyes. Then looked at my phone. It vibrated, I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Lil!" said Jessie's voice.

"Jessie! You were unexpected. What's going on?" I asked happily.

"Nothing at the moment. Hey, I was wondering whether you wanted to go out for tea tonight?"

"Tonight?" I begun to pace up and down my room, "Uh, sure. What time?"

"How about, I'll pick you up at eight?"

"That sounds terrific. I'll see you then. Love you."

"Love you too." he replied.

I shut my phone off, then jumped up and down.

_James,_

_If you get this, I want you to reply to it immediately. I'm worried about you. From what I've heard none of the boys, nor Marlene or Alice have heard from you, Remus said that you are sick. Neither him or I believe this. I want you to message me back what's going on. Or Merlin, so help me I'll come over to your house and physically pull your boxers over your head so far that you wont be able to feel your butt muscles over a week. Clear? _

_Lily._

Maybe the ending was a little violent. But I didn't care. Then a thought struck me. I picked up my quill once again and added this:

_PS,_

_I'm going on a date tonight with Jessie. He told me that he'd like to meet up with you again. I think he liked you!_

Happy with myself and my good thinking when it came to threats, I got Snowy (my owl) to fly out once more for the night. Then I walked to my wardrobe and pulled open the doors. It was full of old and dull clothes. I flicked through snorting of disgust. Was this really what I wore last year? What is this, a scab? I picked up my phone and dialled a number.

"Alice, Marlene." I said looking stern, "We have a situation."


	3. Where Have You Been?

Jily

**Lily's POV**

The plan was that myself, Marlene and Alice would go shopping with the time that we had and look for something suitable for my date. Although most of the time we talked about this whole 'James' incident. Marlene thought it might have just been stress. I told her,

"When would, James Potter, become stressed?" I made a point. And by the end of the shopping tour we came down with only two suitable options. One, that he really was sick. And two, he was angry about something.

I got home and ran straight into my room to my desk. There was nothing there except my quill and school books. I glanced over at Snowy, she shook her head as in to say "no." I threw myself onto my bed and rubbed my eyes. What was wrong with him?

Eventually giving up on thinking, I looked into my bags and see what I bought. They contained, a cute little head piece, a knee-cut blue dress, silver necklaces and a silver ring. Applying the rest of my make-up I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like I never had before. My red hair fell on my shoulders in curls, the jewellery shined and her dress was perfect height showing off a tiny bit of thigh.

Eight o'clock came and there was a knock at the door. I ran downstairs and answered it. Jessie was standing there. He had a bright smile. I returned it.

"Mum! I'm going out! Be back later!" I yelled out to my mother.

I pulled on a cardigan and closed the door behind me.

"You look beautiful tonight, Lily." he said ogling at my appearance.

"Thank you."

He grabbed my waist, then kissed me.

"Lets go." I suggested.

"Good idea."

We walked off, hand in hand.

The night out with Jessie was extremely romantic. He set us up with some candles and wine in a field, gave me spontaneous kisses and soon enough fireworks went off. Literally, they went off. It was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. And it was even better, sharing this precious moment with him. Although, something in my stomach was making me feel heavy. I don't know whether it was guilt, sadness, jealously.

And I don't even know why I was feeling it. I was out here, watching sparks fly and explode in the air with the one I love. But, maybe I didn't. Maybe the one that I love, is somewhere out there, shut up in his room. That person I hadn't heard from all holidays, the one I completely demoralised until early this year? But I couldn't permit the idea nestle in my heart for long.

And soon enough it was eleven o'clock. And Jessie was bidding me goodnight.

"So I'll see you in a couple of days then?" I asked.

"Sure. Can I come in for a second?" he replied.

"Oh yeah, you would've needed to anyway. You forgot your jacket from when you was last hear." I let Jessie come inside the house.

We walked up to my bedroom, I entered first. Jessie shut the door behind him and I waddled over to my wardrobe. I could've sworn I heard the door lock, but maybe I was just imagining things. Probably was, considering all that's been going on lately.

"Here it is-" I said pulling out my jacket.

But I was cut off. Jessie had leapt at me and begun to kiss me with passion. He licked my lower lip, and then his tongue was suddenly thrown into my mouth. By this time I had dropped his jacket not quite sure of what to make of this. Soon enough Jessie had lowered Lily onto her bed. Of course we had been to this level before, but I was nervous about what was going to come next. He begun to put kisses on my cheek, working his way down to my shoulders.

"No. Jessie, please stop." I said, "Jessie please."

He tried to pull my dress down.

"Jessie! Stop!" I was nearly begging.

He didn't stop. He was to carried away with this.

"Cut it out!" I smacked his back hard, "Stop it-"

He pulled me up, then pushed me against the wall. His hands traced down my body, then made their way up my leg.

"Stop it! Jessie! Stop it now!" I was nearly yelling.

Smacking him as hard as possible, but Jessie wouldn't stop. He'd occasionally stop and hit me back, telling me to stop hitting me. But I wouldn't.

My window smashed and a figure jumped in. He stood up and saw Jessie caressing me non-stop. It was James. He ran forwards only a few steps and copped a punch to the side of his jaw. Not caring about his injury, James went in again. This time pulling a hank of Jessie's hair, it looked excruciating.

Screams escaped Jessie's mouth as James ran him into the wall. Jessie's hand went behind his back and grabbed a hold of James's, he twisted it around, making the attack turn around. It was now Jessie that was running James's head into a wall.

My possessions went flying around the room, Snowy was flying about her cage. I was surprised no one had came running up to my room yet, but I didn't care. I took action. I kicked Jessie very hard in the back of his calf. He winced. But regaining his strength very quickly, he slapped my face. I fell back onto the floor. James must have grabbed a wand from somewhere with the split second he had of free time.

"Expelliarmus!" he yelled.

The spell hit Jessie on the chest, he staggered backwards and fell out of the window in the bush below.

"Lily." James panted.

I looked at him. He was barely recognisable. He had cuts all over his face, blood running down from his eye. His eye was swollen. I was injured to. Although it wasn't as bad as James. I had small cuts on my face due to the impact of the glass shattering everywhere, and where Jessie had slapped me.

"James."

I had to drag myself to get to him.

"James." I repeated once more, "It'll be alright. I'll-I will get help. We'll go to St. Mungos and-"

"No." he stopped, "I don't want to go there. Besides you can fix me up."

"I dunno, I'm not all that well with healing spells."

"Lily, you're well with everything."

After many healing casts and blood dripping, I had finally succeeded in fixing them up. Satisfactory.

"You'll need to lie down."

"I don't want to lie down."

"James just do it, for me."

I helped James gain strength for about ten seconds, then he collapsed onto my bed. I dabbed some of his scars with dittany.

"How come my parents or sister didn't hear?" I asked tucking the dittany away.

"I cast _muffliato,_before I smashed through the window."

"That's typical of you." I shook my head. "Where have you been? I've been worried all summer."

"Do we have to talk about this now?"

"Yes."

"Lily, you were almost sexually harassed!"

"Almost James! I was almost. Look I don't care about that, I want to know where you have been!"


	4. Attack Kiss

Jily

**Lily's POV**

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't reply." James begun, "I just-"

"You were what? What is your excuse this time, James?"

"Argh! Him!" he wiped his forehead, "Him. Jessie. I was jealous of him!"

I didn't look all that surprised.

"He just, I've been chasing you for all these years! And you just, go out with him!" he gulped,

"I didn't want to talk to anyone. Not even you. And when I got your next message, saying that you were with him."

"I was- well, you know me. I followed you all night. Tried to anyway." he looked at me,

"It was hard to find your house, considering it was only my owl guiding me. Then eventually I saw you and him returning in the street. I observed, then heard you pleading for him to stop."

My hand fell onto his.

"Then I knew, that I had to go in there. I could tell how scared you were, and that you weren't being stupid. By your voice. I had never heard you yell like that before."

"James." I said softly, "Please stop. I don't want to hear any more."

And it came out. The thing that I had been holding in for the past however minutes. The tears rolled down my cheeks. I sobbed loudly. James sat up and put a comforting arm around me. I sat my head onto his shoulder, he rubbed my arm. Shushing me. I dug my head into him, causing him to wince.

"Sorry." I whispered.

"Nah, it's okay." he said holding his torso.

I rubbed his stomach, I could feel the powerful but bruised abs on the inside of his shirt. I massaged them, James closed his eyes and the pain drew out of his body. I had to do it. I stopped, then just before his eyes opened, I crashed my lips to his. It felt like only a millisecond from when I kissed him and when I pulled away. His eyes were open staring at me.

"Knew you'd come around some time, Evans." he chuckled.

"James I'm sorry- I don't know why I just did that."

"I don't know why you did it either. But I liked it." he whispered.

A hand crawled up my back, it pressured me into leaning forwards. And I did. There I was, half harassed, covered in dry blood, making out with James Potter on my bed. He tried to pull away, but I didn't allow it, I continued to kiss him even more. Running my hand through his black messy hair, the other on his shoulder squeezing it tightly. I started to run out of breath, I pulled my lips away.

"Just figured out that we need air did you, Evans?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up." I advised him, "Now kiss me."

"Wait a second." James raised his fingers to my lips, "You do love me, don't you?"

I smiled.

"Of course I do. You're my hero." I whispered.

Then quickly after that, we continued to kiss again.

The next morning arrived. James and myself were curled up under the covers in my bed. James's eyes opened.

"Morning beautiful." he smiled.

"Morning." I touched his nose, "Up you get. I think we should go and visit your parents or something, about you."

He looked confused.

"To fix up your injuries!" I smacked my head, then I regretted it.

"But you did it fine."

"James, look at you." I looked in his eye. "You look like road kill. You need to get some proper treatment."

"Thanks for that. Makes me feel loads better." he said sarcastically.

I kissed him.

"Did that?"

"Hm. I suppose."

"Idiot."

After leaving a note to my parents, myself and James left to his house.

We walked to the front door.

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea." I said backing away slightly.

James pulled me back.

"No, it is." he pushed my bangs away, "I want you to meet them anyway."

"But-"

"Look, we can be only friend at this point if you want." he shrugged.

"You'd do that?"

"Course." he nodded, "But you'll have to make up for it later."

"Deal."

James let go of my hand and pushed open the door. We were met by a woman with blonde hair running over to us.

"James!" she said while breathing heavily, "Where have you been?"

Obviously she hadn't noticed me yet.

"We were so worried!"

"Mum, I'm fine." James patted his mother's back, "I told you last night I was going out."

"Yes but you told me- never mind that now."

Her eyes glanced at me.

"Who's this young lady?" she asked smiling.

James coughed.

"This is my friend." he said.

His mother examined me, head to toe. Then slowly she put out her hand. I shook it.

"You have very...beautiful...eyes." she let go, "What is your name dear?"

"I'm Lily. Lily Evans."

"Lily?" she looked astounded, "Where have I heard that name? Rings a bell. Anyway, I'm Izzy."

"Uh, probably you were er- thinking about our-"

"That's it!" she snapped her fingers, "Lily. The girl James always tells his father about!"

James turned red. Very red. Admittedly so did I. His mother looked back at his son. She smiled broadly.

"Lily. The girl you've had a crush on forever."

"Okay that's enough mum!" James waved his hand away.

"Alright."

Then the whole reason for us coming here was actually seen.

"What's wrong with you?"

Izzy's eyes finally looked at the scars and bruises on James's face.

"Long story. We won't bother telling you." James said calmly, "Could you fix us up though? Lily did it last night- but she doesn't think it was well, you know."

"Ah, last night aye?" she chuckled.

"Mum!"

"I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" Izzy looked at me, "I'll fix you both up within minutes."

And she did.

"Mum, we're going now." James said.

He thread his arm through a jacket hole. It got stuck. I walked over and stood in front of him. Pushing his arms into the holes, I glanced up at his eyes. He smiled. I blushed. Izzy entered the room.

"Alright then you two. Have fun." she said.

We head for the door and opened it up.

"Are you sure they're just friends?" I heard James's father voice say.

"Who knows." Izzy replied.

We left the house and strolled down the street. The two of us stopped at the curve.

"That was a little awkward." I said.

"I know." he chuckled, "I think she knew the moment we walked in the door that we were together."

Something fell to the pit of my stomach as he said this. I don't know what it was, but It felt like guilt. I don't think I still like Jessie, not after last night. But I'm not whether I was in love with James. I mean, I think I fancy him a little, but wasn't really ready to accept it yet. I still had mixed emotions. Anger at Jessie, love and confusion with James. Guilt to myself. Either way I didn't feel like thinking right now.

"So when are you going to make up for it?" James said snapping back into reality, "It was really hard to not kiss you in there."

"Hold your donkey's!" I said pushing him back.

"But when then?" he pulled me close, "Now?"

"I suppose so." I rolled my eyes and sighed, "I don't know how to make up for it though!"

"Maybe you could kiss me, so I don't have to wait for any longer?"

I chuckled. His hand felt the tip of my chin and pulled it up, our eyes met. My hand slid up his chest and stay put on his shoulders. James's lips touched mine. We kissed.

**August 30th **

I walked up to my room to check if I had any letters. There was three. I opened up the first one and revealed this:

_Lily,_

_I found out who was Head Boy. You won't believe it! Me! I think Remus is pretty cut up about it, but I think he's proud. I don't know who is Head Girl. I'm assuming they'll find out today, that's when I got my letter. Good luck for it. I'll see you tomorrow at Diagon Alley._

_Love,_

_James._

I smiled at myself and replied. I checked the second letter but didn't open it. I saw the slanted writing. Then threw it into the bin. Looking at the third, on the front was, _Lily Evans,_written in green ink. On the back had the Hogwarts emblem. I ripped open the top and peered in. There was two pieces of parchment. I read the first. It included the things I needed for this year, and reminded me about N.E.W.T's. The pulled out the second piece. I read aloud.

_Dear Miss. Lily Evans,_

_Congratulations, you've been chosen for Head Girl this year. We enclose a badge with this letter, for you to wear. It is your priority to keep the school in shape. You must be responsible, reliable and work worthy. It's your responsibility to write out the Prefect's schedule's for each month, do your rounds when needed and help the younger students. You have the privilege of taking away points from houses, adding points and giving detentions. Other options will need to be discussed. On September 1st you will need to report to the Prefect's carriage and tell them what their priorities are. _

_Sincerely, _

_Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts, _

_Minerva McGonagoll. _

I couldn't believe it! I got it! I got Head Girl! I checked the letter for a badge. Gripping onto an object in the envelope I pulled out a golden badge with the letters, 'HG'. I looked at it for a long time. Then ran downstairs.

"Mum! Dad!" I yelled entering the lounge room, "I got it! I got it! I'm Head Girl!"

_James,_

_I got it as well! I'm the Head Girl! I'm so proud of us! I just can't believe it! I'll see you tomorrow as well! Can't wait!_

_Love,_

_Lily._

I sent the letter to James an hour later.


	5. Diagon Alley

Jily

_August 31st_

I threw what was left of my wizard money in my bag and fished out a grey cardigan. Then made my way over to the mirror, a small scar on my right cheek stared back at me. I hated it, reminded me of that terrible night. Turning away, I picked up my bag and head downstairs. My parents bid me goodbye and I set off for Diagon Alley. I exited out street and walked down a dark, narrow alleyway. It was smelly and very claustrophobic. Trying to ignore that horrible feeling of being stuck in here, I thought clearly of Diagon Alley and exactly where I wanted to go. I said I'd meet James just outside Gringotts. Thinking of Gringotts, the tall on-a-lean, white building. I twisted on my feet and disappeared.

My feet hit hard ground, thinking that I probably should've worn more appropriate footwear, I jarred my ankle. Staggering on one foot, wincing in pain, I finally came round and searched the place. It was packed out as usual. People all over, pouring in and out of the shops, arms full of the most quirky things. To large arrowed shoes or rounded hats with green sticks poking out of it. I chuckled, then looked around the corner.

No sign of James, not surprising. Knowing that this probably would happen I juts walked over to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. I ordered myself a triple scooping of mint chocolate, deep raspberry and silver vanilla. I settled down at a table nearing Gringotts so I could see when James would show up. I looked around and in a corner I could see her.

"Marlene!" I shrieked happily.

I nearly woke up all of London considering the amount of people who store at me. The girl waddled over smiling.

"Hello, Lil!" she flung her arms around my neck, "Where've you been? I haven't heard from you in days! Do you know who was chosen to be Head Boy and Girl?"

I smiled widely.

"I do a matter of fact."

"Well come on! Spill!" she said enthusiastically.

I shoved my free hand down my bag and pulled out a golden pin engraved with 'HG'. Marlene's fingers were trembling, she looked at me in the eye wondering if she could believe it or not.

"Congratulations!" she finally squealed and hugged me once more.

"Thanks! You would not believe who was made Head Boy though."

"I reckon I could." she replied handing over the badge carefully, "It'll be Remus won't it?"

"Nope. Guess again." I laughed guiding her over to the table.

"Well it's definitely not Sirius. Couldn't be Snape." she trailed off, "Can't you just tell me!"

"Alright alright. But be prepared." I took a deep breath, "James."

Marlene was more surprised than I was! She had to take three minutes for herself to snap back into reality. One hand raised to her chest the other running nervously through her hair.

"James? As in James?" she gulped, "Like James Potter?"

"Yes yes, James Potter."

"And you-you don't care?"

"Not really." I shrugged.

_'Oh no! Now I have to tell her that we're going out! I wonder how everyone else will take this news. Especially Marlene. Her and James have...history, I guess you could say.' _I thought to myself.

"But- you hate James! Lil, how are you going to stand it? Working with him. You might get yourself hurt, maybe?"

"I can handle James myself, Marlene!" I snapped standing up.

Jeez how my temper was getting easy to break these days.

"I know you can, Lily." Marlene said, "I was merely implying that you know, that you guys hate each other something could break out between you."

_'It already has. Oh how am I going to tell her?' _ I thought again.

"Like as in a duel. We all know that you two have minds of your own, and will do anything in your arsenal to prove your point!" she went off again.

"Marlene, I know how to handle him! Alright? We'll both be working together, so now we'll actually have to pretend to be friends, why do you care so much?" I went off at her.

And with that, I pushed out my seat and head over towards Gringotts bank.

_'Come on, James! Hurry up! I just want to get my crap and leave.'_

Becoming more impatient by the second, waiting around longer angered me. I kicked the brick walk furiously then fell over. My hair went in my face and made it impossible to see. I could make out a dark broad shadow hovering over me. They pushed my bangs out of my face, and James was there. His rectangular glasses about to slip off.

"James." I smiled.

"'Choo doing down there?" he mumbled.

I could tell he was stifling a laugh.

"Fell over." I replied.

He took me by the hand and pulled me up, picking up my bag. Then stared me in the eye's. His muscular arm encircled around my waist, and his lips neared mine.

"No, wait not here." I said pushing his lips away with one finger, "Marlene is over there."

"You didn't tell her, did you?" he questioned me.

"Well no, I never got the chance to before I walked off."

"Lil! Come on, what did you do?"

My arms folded implied James that I had no intention on what happened, and that he should butt out, but he didn't. I dragged him down the east side of Diagon Alley where it was less crowded, and down a pathway on the left of Ollivander's Wand Shop. After a hasty, quick version of what happened later James was grinning.

"What?"

"Nothing. I was just happy that you finally stopped talking, now I can kiss you."

His lips finally met mine, we kissed. But it wasn't like the night with Jessie. It didn't feel that right. Come to think of it, whenever I kissed James, it never felt wrong but always didn't feel right, just halfway between the two. It was like my mouth was telling me that something wasn't going the way it should be. Still kissing him back, I wondered, when had it ever felt right kissing James Potter? It definitely felt nice, tell you that much, but not right. Something heavy dropped down to my stomach telling me something. Something that I didn't like at all.

I was so caught up in my thoughts, I hadn't even realised that James' fingers had made their way from my upper back, down to the belt of my skirt.

"James!" I chuckled pulling away.

"What?" he replied not laughing, but smirking.

"Lets go." I insisted, "It's already eleven thirty."

"Do you think Marlene is still here?" James asked, tucking in his ratherly tidy shirt.

"Maybe not. But there is a whole lot of Hogwarts students here. Don't try anything!" I warned him.

"Fine fine. That means you have to make up for it again later." he replied ruffling my hair.

I ducked out of his way, back out into the open.

"Maybe, we should just make a bloody tab."

Three hours later, after exhausting shopping, many comments on how many subjects I take from James, and yet again, another trip to the Ice Cream Parlour, we finally returned to my neighbourhood. We decided not to go back to my place because Petunia would probably have her friends over. Holidays for muggles. So instead we went to the park just one block away.

"Well that was fun." James said, sitting himself on the grass.

I leant myself against his legs and opened up a new copy of the _Daily Prophet. _I basically spent nearly all holidays without that much news, it was great to see what's been going on in the wizarding world. Although, much to my disappointment, nothing interesting was happening. Except the fact of all the endless reminders of school re-commencing. James brushed his fingers through my soft, shiny hair, then planted a kiss on my forehead. I blushed, but then remembered what I felt like earlier.

At five in the evening we decided to head off back home. James walked me to the corner of my street then turned on the spot.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow at 9 ¾?"

"I'll be there." I smiled, "Well good night, James."

"Night, Lily."

His arms embraced me, I could feel his large muscles pressed against my back. His lips brushed against mine, then strangely, over to my ear and he whispered,

"Lily. I love you."

Something stopped me. My heart raced, he's told me this a thousand times before, but not on such occasion. I couldn't say it back, how much I wanted to, how I didn't want him lingering any longer with my answer just being silent. But my throat was trapped. Nothing came out. My eyes sought his, I could feel pity. No, not pity. Disappointment in his eyes. It made me feel terrible. James coughed.

"Oh, uh, you two." I replied awkwardly.

He tried to remain a smile, but it was weak, I could tell that he knew I didn't mean what I said. Then we broke apart and walked off. Our backs turned on each other.

I pushed open the door of my house. Petunia scowled at me, and stared down my scar. I told my family that it occurred when I trip in the bathroom and cut it on the edge of he sink. Petunia didn't believe it. She walked into the lounge room and I walked drearily up to my room, threw my bag on the ground (which made a big _thump_) and collapsed onto my bed. Why didn't I say it?


	6. Nine and Three Quarters

_September 1st_

My alarm clock went off. I bashed it against the wall to shut it up, then sat up sleepily. It was seven in the morning. The sun shined brightly through the curtains, making my walls turn a beautiful sun-lit orange colour. My hair was teased and very frizzy, I managed to limp over to my desk. Snowy sat on her pole pecking at her wings. She was probably hungry. I reached for a small box and pulled out a cracker then fed it to her. She nibbled on it. There was a small envelope on my desk. I ripped it open and read:

_Lily,_

_I congratulations on becoming Head Girl, (James told me), very well deserved. I hope you get this before you leave to 9 ¾. I'm Prefect again this year, so you, me, James and Marlene will all be in the Prefect's/Head carriage. I can't wait until school begins. Seventh year will be great, kings and queens of the school! Aha, anyway, I'll see you on the Train._

_Remus._

I smiled, but then stopped. I knew how much Remus wanted to become Head Boy, he must be quite cut up about it. We used to joke around on what we'd do if we were both chosen. But I can't do that with James. Oh Great, I had arrive at James. It took me hours to clear my mind from yesterday, then again maybe I never did clear my mind. It's been bugging me ever since I DIDN'T say it. It was eating me alive. There was a knock at the door.

"It's open." I said.

The brown door swung open. My mother stood smiling. She tranced in and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Excited?" she asked.

"Definitely." I lied.

Well didn't really lie. Oh I dunno. I'm not sure if I'm excited or not. I chucked Remus' letter on the desk and swung around.

Three hours later of exhausting packing, extra looks around the house for left over things, squashing clothes into my trunk, feeding Snowy, trying not to scowl to much at Petunia and endless hugs from my parents I was finally in the front seat of the car. We drove thirty minutes into London and arrived at King's Cross Station. I pushed my trolley towards platforms nine and ten. Snowy locked in her cage. I looked at my mum anxiously, she nodded. No one was watching. I leaned up against the wall, and fell through the portal. Nine and Three Quarters was in my view, I looked at the steaming red train, with the Hogwarts crest emblazoned on it. My mum was trailing close behind me. We walked around a pillar where it was less crowded.

"Now, do have fun won't you?" she said.

"I will um, always do."

"And don't get up to to much mischief."

"Yes yes."

"And, good luck with your NEWT's."

"Thanks. I'll see you at the end of the year. I'm not coming home for Christmas. Want to spend it at Hogwarts." I replied.

"Oh alright then. I'll send you your presents."

It was quarter to eleven. I checked the platform. Being Head Girl I had to keep a look out on the younger students. It was more packed now. Everyone was filing in and dragging their trunks on board. My mother left and I paced in a circle impatiently. Ten minutes flew by, and the platform was beginning to reduce numbers slowly. There was still two minutes to go until the train left. My head turned to the right. A familiar face store at me. My feet begun to shuffle forwards. His messy black hair, rectangular glasses, gigantic muscles. James. He looked at me.

"Morning." I smiled weakly.

"Morning, Lily." he replied.

_'Oh no! What if he really did take what I didn't say into account? Does he really mind? Calm down, Lily. Just watch his reactions today and you'll be able to figure it out. But don't make it obvious.'_

"You know, you should probably get on the train." he said.

I hadn't even noticed that he was standing inside on the steps, and the train was making a 'toot'. My hand reached up for his, he pulled me onto the train and slammed the door shut behind me.

"When should we tell them?" he asked.

"I don't know. Maybe tomorrow?" I suggested.

We begun walking down the narrow hallway.

"Maybe we shouldn't." he coughed.

I looked at him. Why shouldn't we tell them? They have a right to know, I suppose. But then maybe what about James' point of view? Like, maybe he's talking about Marlene. And if I tell her something like this after I've just had a snap at her the day before, it probably won't end well. Maybe James is right. Maybe we shouldn't tell them.

"Well, I'll do whatever you want." I said pulling my trunk, looking for Alice, Sirius and Peter.

"How about, we'll just pretend not for a while. But really we are, just not like in-"

"James it's hard enough for you to go an entire hour without staring at me. Let alone actually going out with you and not showing it!" I chuckled.

"Good point. But maybe we shouldn't tell them, just for a couple of days."

I groaned. But it might be the best idea.

"Fine, we'll tell them in two days."

I caught a glimpse of Sirius and his black hair. James slid open the oily door and we entered.

"Fair enough, Evans." he added.

"Hello, Sirius, Peter, Alice!" I said cheerfully, "Potter, make yourself useful and put my trunk up please."

He sighed, but did so. I hugged all of the three, then turned to James. He lowered his muscles and flung his arms by his sides. I was nearly out of breath, then shook my head.

"Come on, Potter. We've got to go to the Prefect's-uh-carriage." I said slightly out of breath.

"Righto, Evans." he followed me out into the hallway.

James trailed behind me sighing.

"What?" I snapped.

"You!" he laughed, "You couldn't keep your eyes off of me!"

"Can too!" I replied blushing.

"Look! You're even going red."

He laughed even more. Then hugged me from behind and kissed my cheek.

"James!" I yelped jumping away, "Subtle!"

"Alright alright! Lets go."

We walked down into the Prefects Carriage. There was around twelve other students in there. They all smiled.

"Took you two long enough!" Remus said, "Where were you?"

"Putting our stuff on board. Duh." I replied.

He raised an eyebrow. I coughed.

_'That can't be good.'_


	7. Fake Relationship

The ride to Hogwarts was exactly how I thought it would've been. Tense. Aggravating. Myself and James were barely even talking. It pained me to say this, but I missed it. Being how we used to before the holidays. How we could insult each other, and not really get hurt. I wish that I hadn't even told James about Jessie taking me out, maybe that way none of this would have happened. Then again I probably would've been sexually harassed if he didn't show up. But then again, maybe we wouldn't have kissed, or got together, now everything so awkward. I shouldn't have even told him about Jessie in the first place! I wish I was a seer, that way I could have seen this coming. Wanting to beat myself up, I hardly even noticed that the train had came to a stop.

"Lily! You there?" said Remus' voice.

"Huh?" I looked at him, "Oh right, yeah. Lets go."

I pulled up my trunk and Looked at Remus, then realised that we were the only ones in the carriage.

"Lily, are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You just- okay I'm just going to have to get this out there." Remus exhaled then said, "Has something happened between you and James?"

I couldn't even say anything. Out of breath. It was horrible, how does he know?

"Uh- how can you say that, Remus? What do you mean?" I stuttered, "Me and James?"

"Lily look, I know you and James. I know how you operate, and that you'd never date a jerk like, James. But there's something there."

"Remus that's just silly, lets go."

We walked up the ground (happening already missed the carriages) in silence. I was debating whether I should tell Remus that he was right, and something had happened between myself and that filthy toe rag. I mean, I can definitely trust him, he wouldn't tell anyone if I didn't want him to. But, James and I agreed not to tell anyone about this. As the feast dragged, I noticed something. James wasn't acting right. It worries me, I have a bad feeling. I just hope I'm wrong. The Feast ended and everyone returned to their Common Rooms-except for myself and James-we have rounds.

"James." I said in a quiet voice after a whole ten minutes of silence.

"Yeah?" he replied.

He leaned up against the wall, trying to remain his usual smirk.

"We need to talk." I mumbled, exhaling.

He folded his arms. The pity, disappointment in his eyes. Horrible, just terrible feeling. The guilt filled my body.

"I knew this would happen sooner or later."

"I'm sorry- I just, this isn't how I wanted it to be." I quibbled.

"Lily, please don't-"

"James, you're a strong, special, heart-pounding man; not to mention extremely incredibly hot. But- just, this isn't working. After everything we've been through; from years of hatred, becoming okay friends, saving me, getting together- it's just to hard. I can't cope with it. Now I've come to realise something."

"That this relationship, is just fake. As hard as it is for me to say this, I didn't fall in love with you. I fell in love with what you did for me. Saving me, from Jessie." I finished and gulped.

A tear in my eye, I was sure that I was about to burst into a long cry. I couldn't meet his eyes, I just store at my feet, his warm hand comforted my shoulder.

"Lily, please don't do this." he whispered.

"James, do you really want to be with someone who doesn't love you?"

"No I wouldn't. But I'm not going to." his fingers traced up to my chin, "I'll give you a deal."

"I don't want a negotiation."

"It won't be. Look, give me a week. I get to do whatever I please with you, and by the end of the week we'll see where we're at."

"But- what do I get, if nothing has happened?"

"I will leave you. Won't bother you about us again."

"And if something has worked?"

A large smile appeared on James' face.

"I get you."

We finished rounds, it was quiet. No one said a word, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. James walked me through the Portrait Hole and to the bottom of the stairs leading into the Girl's Dormitory.

"So, it starts tomorrow, Evans."

"I suppose it does. Good luck."

"Good luck to you." he replied, "This right now, will change."

I blushed. I didn't know why, but I did. I couldn't help it.

"Good night, Lily."

"Night, James."

He turned his back on me and took one step up the Boy's Dormitory stair wall.

"James wait!" I cried.

He turned straight away. I ceased the moment, taking control. And crashed my lips straight onto his. I gave him a lingering kiss, and smiled.


	8. No One Special

**Thanks for the reviews guys!**

"That kiss doesn't count." I whispered to James.

"I'm pretty sure it did!" he replied.

"The deal hasn't started yet." I said stubbornly.

My hand slipped away from his and I walked up to the Girl's Dormitory.

The morning sun shined through the clear glass window, I winced and pulled myself. My feet fell to the floor finding my slippers, I slid on my dressing gown and entered the bathroom for a shower and got dressed into uniform. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My hair in curls falling below my shoulders, a small scar was visible on my cheek. I tried to cover it up with more make-up, no improvement. Sighing, I departed from the Dormitory with my shoulder bag and head to the Common Room. Sleet was falling on the outside of the windows, the fire crackling loudly. I spotted Marlene standing extremely closely to Sirius. She was chuckling and looking down at her feet containing a blush. _I know what's going on there. She has a crush! _I thought to myself and chuckled.

"Marlene!" I said loudly enough so they realised that they weren't the only people in the room.

Her face was directed straight towards me. Both of their faces turned bright red. Sirius patted her arm, coughed and left without saying another word. She walked over to me. I raised my eyebrow.

"What?" she asked impatiently.

"Nothing." I laughed. "Come on, lets go get some breakfast."

The Great Hall was nearly packed, myself and Marlene only just managed to find a seat on Gryffindor Table because the Marauder's saved us one. I plonked myself in between Remus and Alice, James facing me, on his left Peter, and on his right Marlene next to Sirius. James gave me a look and smiled, I rolled my eyes and started up a conversation with Remus about his Prefect schedule. After a few slices of toast and two helpings of orange juice I became aware that it was only me, Remus and James left at the table.

"Um, are you two even coming to class?" Remus asked uncertainly and standing up.

I coughed and said,

"No, we have Head duties. But good luck with History of Magic, and don't doze off!" I said to Remus who chuckled.

He waved and exited the Hall. There was silence between myself and James.

"So." I said. "Starts today. What do you have planned?"

He merely smiled.

"You'll see."

"Well, how will we be doing for time?"

"We can use this period as for Head duties, then there's a free period after lunch and another after Potions. So all together, we have a little over three hours."

I nodded.

"So, I guess we should probably go for a walk about the castle, yes?"

"Probably a good idea." James agreed.

We pulled ourselves free from the table and patrolled some corridors for thirty minutes.

"Oh Merlin!" Hestia Jones said loudly and sitting herself next to me, "History of Magic was so boring!"

"Tell me about it." I said taking a bite out of an apple.

"Oh please, you weren't even there." Marlene scoffed, "Professor Binns just kept rambling on about our ancestors. I swore I could hear Remus snoring from the other side of the room."

I burst out laughing. James and Sirius both chuckled, but Remus looked sour.

"I told you not to!" I threw the rest of the apple core at Remus' feet.

"Hey! Gross!" he picked it up and threw it into the lake, "It's for the Giant Squid."

James checked his watch.

"What's up, Prongs?" Sirius asked James.

"Huh? Oh nothing." he replied.

"It's a free period and you're checking the time, what are you? Wanting to go to class? Are you feeling sick?"

"No. I'm fine." James coughed.

"Oh I know!" Sirius leaped, "It's a girl! He's got a date during free period!"

James scowled.

"Who with! Come on, you can tell us!" Sirius protested.

"It's no one!" James shook him off, "No one special!"

I slowly hid my face into my knees, pretending to tie up my laces. But Remus spotted me, he raised an eyebrow. I coughed uncomfortably and tried to remain a smile.

"It is! James likes someone! But he's too cowardly to tell her!" Sirius yelled.

That was it, that would've done it. Sirius crossed a line and James had snapped.

"Says you!" James replied standing up, "You don't even have the guts to tell, Marlene! But that doesn't matter, you don't know what it's like to be me right now!"

And with that, James stormed off up the hill. Everyone was silent, Sirius had turned pink, but not as much as Marlene had.

"Maybe I should-" Remus began.

"No, I'll go." I insisted.

"But-"

"Remus, I said I'll go."

I traced James' steps up the hill and followed him.

James was leaning up against the solid, brick wall ramming his head from the wall into his hands, and kicking furiously at the grass. I very slowly walked towards him, I could feel the wind m=blow my cloak about.

"James." I said softly.

"Go away, Lily." he replied.

I could hear the anger in his tone, and knew straight away I should back off, but I didn't.

"No." I said.

He faced me.

"Just leave me alone, I don't want you to see me like this."

"Like what?"

"This! I just- argh, don't worry."  
"James, I am worrying. Look I can't stand not knowing what's going on with you."

He sighed and slid down the side of the wall. I sat beside him.

"Just please tell me what's wrong." I pleaded quietly.

"Fine. It's just – you! We're, well we were dating and I asked you whether you actually loved me on the night we got together! And you said yes, but when I told you that I loved you you didn't say the same. And right there I knew that you didn't love me from the start. And when we got back to Hogwarts I knew that the moment we were alone that you'd ditch me, and you did. Then I told you that you should give me a week, you didn't want to do it but then gave in. I should've known it wouldn't work, because you didn't want to. Then you kissed me, I got my hopes up again but this morning you barely even talked. I just shouldn't have done anything- because now I'm really hurt!"

He covered his face into his knees. I touched his shoulder.

"James I-"

"You didn't know that you mean so much to me?"

"Yeah."

"Well now you should. Deal's off." he stood up and begun to walk away.

"James, wait, please!" I chased after him.

He stopped abruptly, I wasted no time. A leapt into his arms and kissed him on the lips softly. We pulled away. I could hear him sigh.

"Lily I don't think this means anything- you only did it because I'm hurt."

"No." I said shaking my head. "No, I did it because I love you. There I said it, I'll scream it to the world. James Potter, I love you."

My heart pounded against my rib cage, my pupils started to dilate, I looked up at James. First I thought he was going to walk away in dis-belief, but he didn't. James scooped me up in his arms, holding me and kissed me firmly. I kissed him back, it was a blissful and passionate oblivion. Soon our foreheads were leaning against each other, and our lips backed away. I could hear a small cheer echo from the bottom of the hill, I turned and faced them. It was Marlene, Hestia, Remus, Sirius, Alice and Peter all beaming back at us. I turned back to James, removed his glasses and kissed him once more.

"Is this the truth, Lily?" James asked mischievously. "Do you really love me?"

"Yes, James. I do love you." I replied incandescently.

James lowered me back to the ground, and took a hold of my hand entwining our fingers. We marched back down the hill to our huddle of friends. Everyone was still cheering quite loudly. Sirius was patting James on the back, Marlene smiling brightly, Alice and Hestia giggling and Peter jumping up and down. Remus detached me from the group.

"Tell me the truth, Lily." he said quietly, "Did something really happen between you and James throughout the holidays that you kept a secret?"

I hesitated.

"Yes. I'm sorry for not telling you, Remus. We just agreed to not tell anyone, then well- we sort of broke up then got together, then broke up again and now we're back together."

"Okay too confusing for me, I'm happy for you both."

"Thanks." I said and walked back over to James.

He embraced me with his muscular arms, I felt where I should be, somewhere safe.


End file.
